"One of the secrets to a happy marriage is remembering the source of our joy, which is not one another. The source of our joy is the Lord. Yes, we share tons of joyous moments, but we don't expect, let alone demand, endless joy-filled moments from each other. "
~ Liz Curtis Higgs ~
from the devotional: Rise and Shine
Good morning, everyone.It's 2 A.M. and I can't sleep.
Hubby's fast asleep, Lancelot's fast asleep, I'm sure most of you are asleep, and yet my brain just won't shut up. Thoughts keep running through it, thoughts that demand my attention. These aren't the thoughts that float by peacefully, lulling the thinker into a deep, comfortable sleep. These are the thoughts which require close attention, analysis, and reflection.
So I stumbled into the office, logged into bloglines, and saw that Darlene had updated her blog. I received my copy of her book, The Mom Complex today (thanks for sending it out so quickly! Can't wait to devour it!) so I checked her blog out first, and I saw a wonderful post about the quote seen above. At the end of her post, she invites her readers to also write a post about the quote. Seeing as some of my attention-requiring, eyelid-opening thoughts were somewhat related, I thought I'd take a shot at it.
I have a husband who often gets frustrated. He gets frustrated for valid reasons, and most of the time I have nothing to do with it. However, I seem to have a problem. I take it personally when he's upset. It's a very bad problem. It might be something at work, something with one of his family members, financial worries, or any other matter of difficulty. I often experience these same emotions. I get upset when I open the fridge and there aren't any cold Cokes in there for me. When I make a business call, I despise being put on hold. I have no patience for calling customer service and find myself speaking with someone in another country who barely speaks English. I can justify my frustration and anger, yet I don't want my husband to feel those same things.
It doesn't make any sense.
When I read this quote, I realized that I had been expecting my husband to be my source of joy. Reading what Liz had to say was like God thumping me on the head. In a good way. It's simply unfair for me to expect my husband to be happy and smiling all the time. People get mad. They grunt and make noises. Sometimes papers get thrown across the room or a door gets slammed.
But that doesn't mean my husband is a bad person, and it certainly doesn't mean my marriage is in trouble, which is what I had convinced myself was happening.
I need to remember that God is my source of joy.
My husband may be my best friend and lover, but God is my Father and Lover of my soul.
My husband is my partner in life, but God is the author of my life.
My husband's snoring might keep me from sleeping, but when God needs to get my attention about something, He keeps me awake until I get it.
Thanks for the thump, God. I think I can get some rest now.
So I stumbled into the office, logged into bloglines, and saw that Darlene had updated her blog. I received my copy of her book, The Mom Complex today (thanks for sending it out so quickly! Can't wait to devour it!) so I checked her blog out first, and I saw a wonderful post about the quote seen above. At the end of her post, she invites her readers to also write a post about the quote. Seeing as some of my attention-requiring, eyelid-opening thoughts were somewhat related, I thought I'd take a shot at it.
I have a husband who often gets frustrated. He gets frustrated for valid reasons, and most of the time I have nothing to do with it. However, I seem to have a problem. I take it personally when he's upset. It's a very bad problem. It might be something at work, something with one of his family members, financial worries, or any other matter of difficulty. I often experience these same emotions. I get upset when I open the fridge and there aren't any cold Cokes in there for me. When I make a business call, I despise being put on hold. I have no patience for calling customer service and find myself speaking with someone in another country who barely speaks English. I can justify my frustration and anger, yet I don't want my husband to feel those same things.
It doesn't make any sense.
When I read this quote, I realized that I had been expecting my husband to be my source of joy. Reading what Liz had to say was like God thumping me on the head. In a good way. It's simply unfair for me to expect my husband to be happy and smiling all the time. People get mad. They grunt and make noises. Sometimes papers get thrown across the room or a door gets slammed.
But that doesn't mean my husband is a bad person, and it certainly doesn't mean my marriage is in trouble, which is what I had convinced myself was happening.
I need to remember that God is my source of joy.
My husband may be my best friend and lover, but God is my Father and Lover of my soul.
My husband is my partner in life, but God is the author of my life.
My husband's snoring might keep me from sleeping, but when God needs to get my attention about something, He keeps me awake until I get it.
Thanks for the thump, God. I think I can get some rest now.
13 comments:
Also up late...
I think one of the reasons I love my husband so much is because he has such a Christ-like attitude toward life. I very rarely see him angry; when I do, the reason is usually serious (or he is tired and stressed and something is just the last straw.) Further, he almost never ACTS on that anger-- he instead goes somewhere to cool off. I have a horrid rotten temper. I am not good at controling my reaction to circumstances beyond my control or my actions in relation to my reaction. I love the gentle, kind, and loving ways my husband has found to help guide me toward peace and joy in life, rather than anger and bitterness-- and I love him for his reactions to MY reactions and actions when I am NOT being Christ-like. He is the master of the "gentle answer" which "turneth away wrath", and I know that he loves me very much and wants to help me learn this and that he takes seriously his responsibility to help his family attain eternal life, and shows it in all things.
Welcome to IOW! Thank you for sharing. I, too, know that *thump* as God keeps me awake to deal with things, lol. Praying you got some rest.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, really enjoyed them.
Very insightful for a late-night post! I realized the same thing about my children only recently. Too often, my mood and happiness was dependent upon theirs. When they were happy, I was happy, etc. Now I realize I have to have a firmer foundation and faith to not be tossed around like the wind!
Guinevere, what a wonderful, beautiful post :)...I was just reminded of this past weekend. My hubby got frustrated because no one carries his sinus medication. Since I was with him trying to get them, I was the one who heard his grunts. I was directed toward me, he just needed to went.
Thank you for sharing.
Blessings to your day and always...
Jen, I'm so thrilled that you joined IOW this week. Your online friendship is warming everytime I see you on the net. I remember the first time I ever came to your blog, you were excited because you had just had something like 80 visitors. You've come a long way, baby! :)
This line is really good, "My husband may be my best friend and lover, but God is my Father and Lover of my soul."
Welcome to In "Other" Words. I think you had a little God sign planted intentially in front of you. God wanted you to take part in this today for there are different hosts each week. Imagine if it wasn't Darlene's turn, you might never have found these words that made you come to the realization to put God first. What a special secret He shared with you last night :)
Blessings-
Jennifer
Guinevere - on my way to work I realized that I spelled something wrong. I ment 'vent' in my precious comment *blush*
Blessings...
Wonderful insight...amazing how brilliant we are in the wee hours!
I get my best thoughts then! :)
Great to meet you...
I do all my best writing in the middle of the night. Looks like you do too. Beautifully said.
It's amazing how God get's our attention when we are finally quiet enough to hear him...usually when it's time for bed.....I usually am posting at about the same time. I totally can relate to this post...thanks for sharing
Blessings
Wow, how profound...and you're absolutely right. Many times, when my hub is upset, I get upset right along with him ("Weep with those who weep...?"). Maybe I take it personally too....
Now about that thumping part -- I guess God knows I'm just too tired to be kept awake for that business....
You and the husband look so wonderful together! Great photo!
I loved reading this, it took God thumping me on the head also (and sometimes I can have a pretty thick skull =)). I am so glad you participated!!
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