Everyone's Growing Up!!

Today Lancelot had his 4-month "well baby" checkup and injections.

He's 16 pounds 3 ounces, and is 26 inches long.

He's more than doubled his birthweight and has grown 5 inches.

I used to measure his foot by my first finger. At birth, his foot was exactly the same length as my finger. Now, the tip of my finger comes only to the ball of his foot.

Today, he had his first serving of solid food. A few spoonfuls of rice cereal. Not much, just a few tastes, really, but even so. My baby is eating real FOOD now!

I'm growing up, too. Last week I turned 25. A quarter of a century old!! (My car insurance ought to go down again. And now I can rent a car. Yippee!)

I think there's something about giving birth that causes time to stop. For the mommy, that is. I don't feel like a day has passed since he was born, yet the world goes on around me. Lancelot keeps on growing, birthdays keep coming, seasons keep changing, stocks rise and fall.

Sigh. 2007 is already 1/4 of the way finished. Did 2006 end yet?

Wordless...Monday??

OK, so I know it's supposed to be Wordless Wednesday, but I'm holding a squirming baby in one arm making it hard to type. Enjoy these pics, I'll come back with the stories later!

A Short Break...

...For a family vacation. Hubby's sister from South Africa is here visiting us for a couple of weeks. We'll be at Disneyworld next week, so I may be away from blogging for a short while, but I'm sure I'll come back with plenty of stories for you!

Have a wonderful two weeks everyone! I'll be back soon!

love,
Guinevere and Lancelot

The Gospel According to Lancelot

God likes to teach me lessons in interesting ways. I don't know about you, but I need to see something to understand it. Reading about it doesn't work, listening to someone else talk about it doesn't work, but if you show me what you want me to know, then I'll finally get it.

God used my son the other night to teach me something. I think I shall call the lessons I learn from this little boy "The Gospel According to Lancelot." (Is that sacreligious in any way? I hope not...)

Lancelot was trying to crawl, as seen in the above photo. He's figured out that he needs to move his arms and his legs, but he hasn't figured out how to coordinate those movements in order to propel himself forward. Sometimes he pivots around on his tummy to where he's facing a different direction, but he doesn't actually go anywhere. Last night, I had him on his tummy on the carpet. I sat on the floor in front of him and I put his little duck rattle on the floor, just out of his reach.

He was gazing at the duck rattle intently, determined that he would get it.

He squirmed. He wiggled. He flailed. And yet he got nowhere.

He looked up at me as if to say, "Mommy, can't you bring it closer?"

I didn't. I told him, "You can do it, son. Keep trying."

He kept trying, but still didn't make it. He gave it a darn good try, though. I would have lost patience way before he did.

I watched him struggle to get that duck rattle, and it hit me that we are often like a baby who is desperately trying to get somewhere but just can't quite make it without the help of Mommy or Daddy. God watches us as we learn to move our arms and legs to get where we need to go. He lets us suffer a bit, and he may even let us whimper and whine in consternation.

But after awhile, one of two things will happen:

1. We'll figure out how to get to the rattle, though it may take more time than we'd like and more struggling than we're comfortable with.

2. God will lift us up from the ground, hold us in his lap, and hand us the rattle, and He will take great joy in seeing the happiness in our faces as we look up into His eyes with gratitude.

On What I Should Be Doing Right Now

I should be cooking dinner, but I'm blogging.

I should be straightening up the house for our company arriving in the morning, but I'm blogging.

I should be washing out Lancelot's bottles so I can fill them and have enough for the night, but I'm blogging.

I should go settle Lancelot down because he's whimpering in his crib (I think the bear mobile probably stopped,) but I'm blogging.

(I was right. The bear mobile stopped. I turned it back on. Now I'll have at least 5 more minutes of quiet, and hopefully he'll fall asleep for his evening nap.)

I should call up my friend who lives in Tampa that I haven't seen since October, but I'm blogging.

I should call my grandmother. Her little cat passed away last night, but I'm blogging.

I have too much else to do to be sitting at the computer blogging. When I arrive at the Pearly Gates and my life is examined, I don't want this current hour burnt away as wheat and chaff.

Have a lovely evening, everyone. I have some important things to do with my time which will make a more lasting impression than blogging.

Not that blogging doesn't matter. It's fabulous.

But I have a grandmother to call, a meal to prepare for my family, and a home to make ready for a guest.

Those things win.

See you later!

Midnight Revelations

"One of the secrets to a happy marriage is remembering the source of our joy, which is not one another. The source of our joy is the Lord. Yes, we share tons of joyous moments, but we don't expect, let alone demand, endless joy-filled moments from each other. "
~ Liz Curtis Higgs ~
from the devotional: Rise and Shine
Good morning, everyone.

It's 2 A.M. and I can't sleep.

Hubby's fast asleep, Lancelot's fast asleep, I'm sure most of you are asleep, and yet my brain just won't shut up. Thoughts keep running through it, thoughts that demand my attention. These aren't the thoughts that float by peacefully, lulling the thinker into a deep, comfortable sleep. These are the thoughts which require close attention, analysis, and reflection.

So I stumbled into the office, logged into bloglines, and saw that Darlene had updated her blog. I received my copy of her book, The Mom Complex today (thanks for sending it out so quickly! Can't wait to devour it!) so I checked her blog out first, and I saw a wonderful post about the quote seen above. At the end of her post, she invites her readers to also write a post about the quote. Seeing as some of my attention-requiring, eyelid-opening thoughts were somewhat related, I thought I'd take a shot at it.

I have a husband who often gets frustrated. He gets frustrated for valid reasons, and most of the time I have nothing to do with it. However, I seem to have a problem. I take it personally when he's upset. It's a very bad problem. It might be something at work, something with one of his family members, financial worries, or any other matter of difficulty. I often experience these same emotions. I get upset when I open the fridge and there aren't any cold Cokes in there for me. When I make a business call, I despise being put on hold. I have no patience for calling customer service and find myself speaking with someone in another country who barely speaks English. I can justify my frustration and anger, yet I don't want my husband to feel those same things.

It doesn't make any sense.

When I read this quote, I realized that I had been expecting my husband to be my source of joy. Reading what Liz had to say was like God thumping me on the head. In a good way. It's simply unfair for me to expect my husband to be happy and smiling all the time. People get mad. They grunt and make noises. Sometimes papers get thrown across the room or a door gets slammed.

But that doesn't mean my husband is a bad person, and it certainly doesn't mean my marriage is in trouble, which is what I had convinced myself was happening.

I need to remember that God is my source of joy.

My husband may be my best friend and lover, but God is my Father and Lover of my soul.

My husband is my partner in life, but God is the author of my life.

My husband's snoring might keep me from sleeping, but when God needs to get my attention about something, He keeps me awake until I get it.

Thanks for the thump, God. I think I can get some rest now.

A Beautiful Day for a Boatride

Sunday was just gorgeous.

A perfect day.

Blue skies, not too hot, not too humid.

Our friend has a boat.

This friend hadn't taken his boat out in several months.

We remedied that on Sunday.

At first, Lancelot didn't care to wear his little life jacket. It swallowed him up, and he looked a bit like the Michelin Man. He got used to it after awhile, and was fine.

We boated up and down our little section of the Intracoastal Waterway, just inside the eastern coast of Florida. (That's where all the millionaires and billionaires have their mansions where they don't actually live...) It was such a gorgeous day, that I think pretty much everyone who owned a boat or knew someone who owned a boat was out on their boats that day. See, pretty soon here in Florida it will get ridiculously hot. Then only people who are vacationing in Florida even dare to go outside. The locals very smartly stay in the air conditioning, where we won't shrivel up and/or melt.

Here's actually a picture of me with my son. Since I usually do the picture taking, there is an unfair ratio of pictures with Dad to pictures with Mom. I just whip out the camera and take a picture whenever the whim strikes me, but I must instruct my husband when I want a photograph with me in it. If only husbands could read our minds. Sigh.

Buyer's Remorse

I'm such a hypocrite.

I tell hubby, "We don't really need that right now...it'll just contribute to our credit card debt."

"If we stop using the credit cards, we could use the money we WERE spending to pay them off to set aside a down payment for a house..."

" WHY do you need that again?"

So then, I spend $15 here, $10 here, $40 here on stuff that I don't really need, but I rationalize it because it's on sale, because it's something for the baby, because I'm not wearing maternity clothes anymore and I really need that new dress.

Grr.

I went into my favorite store today and I had a coupon. Great, I thought. I can get something to wear for Lancelot's christening in two weeks.

Did I?

No. But I did get a tank top, two necklaces, and a dress to wear that'll look GREAT when we go out to dinner with friends tonight, but wouldn't really be appropriate for an infant baptism.

This isn't the exact dress I purchased, but it's in this same style. It's that pink color with a black print. I love it.

Should I take the stuff back?

It was on sale...

Omnipotent Baby

I know all.

I see all.

I will use my knowledge against you.

When you are sitting down to enjoy your lunch, I will wake up from my nap screaming.

When you finally manage to sit down at the computer and catch up on some blogs, I will wake up from my nap screaming.

After you finish the laundry, do the dishes, and return phone calls and think you have a few minutes to crash on the couch and take a breather, I will wake up from my nap screaming.

When you are ready to go out the door to meet Damselfly at the mall, I'll fill up my diaper.

When you are halfway through your shower and you've just applied shampoo to your head, I will begin shrieking from my bouncy chair, causing you to leap out of the shower in utter fear of my discomfort.

When you want to take me for a walk in the stroller, I'll decide I don't like the stroller anymore, but only once you're twenty minutes away from the house and can't do anything about it until we get back home.

And when you sit down to feed me, I'll gaze into your eyes and make that little cooing sound you find so adorable, and your heart will melt.

And you'll forgive me for waking up from my nap screaming.

The Baby/Time Continuum...

..."these are the voyages of the Starship Mommy...to explore new worlds, to boldly go where no woman has gone before..."

OK, I admit it. I'm a Trekkie.

I've never gone to a convention, never dressed as a Klingon, but I love love love watching re-runs of Star Trek: The Next Generation, Voyager, and Deep Space Nine.

I particularly like the episodes in which the crew members find themselves in a "temporal anomaly." In such occurrences, crew members get caught up in time loops, experiencing the same events again and again, or people/planets/species/worlds get wiped out from history and change the course of evolution, etc etc etc. Then of course our fearless crew solves the mystery and saves the galaxy.

I'm experiencing my own "temporal anomaly." With the advent of having a baby, a woman's concept of time is totally, utterly, changed. Instead of days passing in hours, days pass in burps, poos, and naps. Instead of weeks being marked by particular events, (Sunday we go to church, Monday we have band practice, Thursday we go out for burgers,) they are measured in inches of baby growth. Instead of months being measured in weeks, they are measured in developmental milestones.

While a day still has 24 hours in it, I seem not to get as much done. But that depends on how you look at it. I may not get the laundry finished and dinner cooked, but I've contributed to the physical, intellectual, and emotional development of a tiny little person. I'd say that's a pretty big accomplishment!

Lancelot was born on November 28th, 2006. How can it possibly be March already? And yet, how can it be that he hasn't been here forever?

It's a paradox. A temporal anomaly.

Can anyone truly conceive of the meaning of time? If you can, I'd love to be enlightened...

Missed Milestones

I missed it.

My son rolled over for the first time, and I missed it.

Wah.

Hubby and I were running around like chickens with our heads cut off, getting ready to leave for a church function last night. Lancelot was having tummy time in the living room, in plain sight of us, and he chose the exact moment that both of us were looking the other direction to roll over onto his back.

Sneaky little kid.

Photo Tag!

Well, here ya go.

I've jumped on the bandwagon and added my own pregnant belly shot.

I was 28 weeks preggers in this here photo. Actually, you can't tell, but Damselfly was standing next to me in this photo. (I haven't had a chance to ask her yet for her permission to post a photo of her on my blog, so I took myself out. Damselfly, if you don't mind, I'll put the original shot up.) This was taken shortly before her Flybaby was born. While I look happy in this photo, I was actually quite jealous because while she was days away from her due date and I had three months to go, I looked WAY more pregnant than she did. (Some gals have all the luck. Hmph. Damselfly, I forgive you!! lol!)

A Wee Bit of an Identity Crisis

*If you're here from the Ultimate Blog Party, Welcome! Click here for my introductory post.*

Having a baby has changed my world. In so many ways! It has made me re-learn and re-evaluate everything that used to be normal and predictable.

Including my identity.

3 months ago, I was part of a couple. Now I am part of a family.

3 months ago, I was a college student who happened to have a very large belly. Now I am not doing anything even remotely academic. (And the belly is shrinking by the week. Hallelujah!)

3 months ago, I was free as a bird. Now I have to make special arrangements far in advance if I want to go off and do something alone.

3 months ago, I didn't know the joy of having and loving a child. Now, my heart is so full it is overflowing!

3 months ago, I got to decide when to go to bed and when to wake up. Now, I can throw away the alarm clock because my child now decides these things for me.

3 months ago, I was easily bored. Now, I always have my own personal entertainment!

3 months ago, I didn't think there was anything special about a person being able to move their head. Now, as I watch my son lift his head when he is on his tummy, I praise him and cheer him as though he just won the Olympic Gold Medal in head-lifting!

3 months ago, I referred to myself as "(my real name)", "me" or "I." Now, I almost always refer to myself in the third-person as "Mommy."

So this leaves me in a bit of a conundrum. Am I still the person I was before? Well, yes. However, the meaning of "me" has taken on entirely new dimensions.

Do I long for the time when I can once again just grab my purse, jump in the car, and go? Sure. But if I did that, it would mean that my son wouldn't exist. (And in a few short years, I will once again have this freedom.)

Do I wish I could sleep late whenever I wanted to? Absolutely, but that would mean never getting to hold my son in my arms and give him his bottle. (When he's in school, he'll be able to turn on the TV on Saturday mornings and watch cartoons.)

While I am still the same person I once was, I sure feel different. Sometimes it's a good feeling, other times it's not so great.

When it doesn't feel so great, I look into the eyes of my 3-month old boy and he smiles at me.

Then, once again, all is right with the world and I am able to embrace the new "me."

Sweet, Sweet Slumber

He did it!

It's official!!

He slept all the way through the night.

As in, we put him to bed and he didn't wake up until the sun was out.

Praise God, Hallelujah!

Let's hope this continues!

It's a Party, Mommy-Style!

Hey, come on and join us over at the Ultimate Blog Party!! Join in too, and win a prize! Meet new friends! Get noticed! Let your hair down and have some FUN!

I've got a good party game. 20 Questions!! (Well, we'll make it ten to save space!)

1. Who are you?

I'm Guinevere Meadow. Well, that's not my real name, but it's a lovely pseudonym, wouldn't you agree?? I'll be 25 later this month. I am the wife of Hubby and the mommy of Lancelot. (Also not his real name.)

2. Who is Lancelot?

He is my 3-month old son, the love of my life, and the thorn in my side. Just kidding about the thorn part.

3. Why should I read this blog?

Why not?

4. What do you do in your spare time?

Spare what? I don't know what this is...lol!! In the few moments I find to myself, I enjoy reading, blogging, singing, playing games on our new Nintendo Wii, and watching episodes of Voyager that we've saved on our TiVO.

5. Who is Jesus Christ?

The Saviour of the World. The Son of God. The Lamb of God. The Alpha and Omega, Beginning and End. Wonderful counsellor, Almighty God and Everlasting Father.

6. Do you go to church?

Practically every time the doors are open, and sometimes when they're not. (We have a key. lol!)

7. What do you do there?

Other than attending services, I sing in a band called Renanah which does music for the Saturday night service, we socialize there, we eat there, we have picnics there, we join bible studies there, and we participate in an annual reenactment of Bethlehem.

8. What is your favorite color?

Red

9. What is your quest?

To find the Holy Grail of blogging.

10. What is the air-speed velocity of a laden swallow?

African or European?

For anyone who does not know the reference of the last three questions, I suggest you go rent a copy of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It's frikkin' hilarious. (And it's great to quote one-liners at parties!! lol!)

Letter To My Son

My dear, sweet, small son,

Tomorrow you will be 3 months old! While on one hand it seems like you've been here forever, it also seems like just yesterday when I saw two pink lines on the pregnancy test.

Already you have doubled your birthweight, can hold objects, laugh and smile, and now you can start to pick your head up during "tummy time." These precious days pass so quickly!

I've taken a hundred photographs to remember the way you look.

I've shot hours of video footage to remember how you move and the way you sound.

But how can I bottle up the way I feel when I hold you close, rocking and singing your favorite lullabies?

How can I capture the fragrance of your skin and hair after your evening baths?

Is there a way to store the melting of my heart when you look up at me and smile?

Can I record the joy of cuddling a warm baby?

One day, you won't want to be held and rocked.

One day, you will be too big for your baby tub and you'll be taking showers.

One day, my kisses will embarrass you, and you won't like being called "Sweetie Pie Punkin' Bug."

I'd better enjoy these moments while I can, because one day you'll be all grown up and won't need your Mommy anymore.

But for now, I get to hold you, rock you, feed you, bathe you, giggle and smile at you, make funny faces at you, and laugh with you.

I can smother you in kisses and make silly baby sounds at you.

I love you, my son. More than you'll ever know.

First Hockey Game!

Last night, we got a taste of how the other half lives. (Crazy Bloggin' Canuck, you're not the only one! lol!)

We got to see a Florida Panther hockey game in box seats. For free.

Hubby works for a very large company. He is on the team that decides which computer software to purchase for the whole company. They have been regular customers of Symantec (formerly Norton.) Anyway, the Symantec guys wanted to express their appreciation to our guys, so they gave Hubby and his team tickets to watch the hockey game in their private box. It included free food, free drinks, and as you can see, visits from the Panther Ice Dancers.

We enjoyed our evening out very much. Lancelot was so good! I was a little nervous that people would scowl at us, bringing a baby into a private box like that, but everyone was so nice and friendly, and Lancelot just won everybody's hearts!!

They grow up so fast!!

*Sniffle, sniffle*

Can someone hand me a tissue, please?

Yesterday I had to pack away Lancelot's newborn baby clothes. Every single item of clothing had some memory attached to it: "This is what he wore on the day he first smiled!" "He wore this little hat the first time we took him to our Bible study." "These are the socks he always kicked off!" "This is the onesie he pooped all over..." etc etc etc.

I'm sure I shed a tear or two.

On the brighter side, this means he can now wear all the cute 3-month size clothes that he received as gifts at the baby shower. The adorable little rompers that have been hanging in the closet, just waiting for Lancelot to wear them! The blue-and-white striped little cap that used to come down over his eyes is now a perfect fit! The cute teddy bear t-shirt and short set I found at a garage sale months before he was born!

I think I'm going to make a point of photographing him in each outfit the first time he wears them, so I'll be able to remember how he looked in all his baby clothes without digging through a plastic tub. All I'll have to do is open the photo album!

It's amazing how little use he got out of the clothes. It made me realize how silly it is to pay big bucks for baby clothes. Some stuff he never even GOT to wear because it was mis-sized! The sleepers that are marked 3-6 months but which are too tight in the arms and legs. Stuff like that.

E-Bay and thrift stores, here I come!

Of Dexterity and Clumsiness

My motor skills have improved since having a baby.

I can do things one-handed. I can hold the baby, get a jug of milk out of the fridge, close the fridge door with my foot, pour a glass of milk, put the milk back in the fridge, and do all of this without dropping the baby.

That's incredible.

I can keep my balance while carrying Lancelot in his carseat, walking down the stairs with a diaper bag on one shoulder, a purse on the other, and keys in my hands.

Amazing!

And yet I trip over my shoes while walking to the bathroom. No baby in my arms, no diaper bag dangling from my shoulder.

I'm a dexterous clutz. I think I'll start a club. All mothers of infants are welcome to join.

Got Milk? (Or, "Ode to My Mammary Glands")

Relactate: (v) 1. The process of re-establishing one's milk supply

2. A desperate attempt at becoming a better mother

Well ladies, after 2 months of not nursing Lancelot, I have decided to try and trick my body into producing milk once again. See, after little Lancelot was born, we had a miserable time of it. Due to biological/physical factors on both our parts, recovering from surgery and a nasty case of post-partum depression, it was just a lot easier to switch to formula and forget the whole shabang.

Now, however, after some time has passed and we have settled into somewhat of a routine, I am confident that I would be able to breastfeed the little guy. I learned that women whose babies are under 4 months old and who had established a milk supply before are generally successful at getting the process started again.

It means lots of pumping. Lots. Pumping isn't so much fun to begin with, but when you're sitting at a machine tugging at your boobs for days on end and you're only managing to squeeze out a few drops, it gets kinda depressing! However, this morning I was able to get more than a few drops-- not much more, but they were of sufficient volume to drip down into the bottle! Woohoo! And that telltale breast tenderness of the early days has returned. Hope has been restored!

I have a specific goal, too. In about a month, we are taking a family Disney trip- me, hubby, Lancelot, my parents and sister, and hubby's sister-- and I so don't want to be lugging my Medela Pump-In-Style through the Magic Kingdom. Ducking into the bathrooms every two hours-- there's an attraction not mentioned in the brochure!! I suppose I could bring my Avent Isis hand pump. Imagine this: standing in line for Splash Mountain, pumping away. I've got my own splashing action going on!

So this week, I am taking a "nursing holiday." I will be staying home as much as possible, attaching the girls to their good friend Medela every two hours, and walking around in a nursing bra, trying to get Lancelot to latch on whenever he can/feels like it.

If I haven't seen progress by the end of the week, I may reevaluate my decision. There's only so much "dry pumping" one can take.

(It will be interesting to see the bizarre google searches that will turn up this blog in their results! lol!)